From Dad Bod to God Bod: 24 Things I Wished Someone Had Told Me Before Starting My 24 Weeks Ultimate Dad Bod Transformation #FitForPurpose
Award-winning author, speaker, podcaster, entrepreneur and father of two Mark Leruste shares the ups and downs of his 6 months body transformation journey and how carrying a coffin at a funeral and a photoshoot gone wrong inspired him to radically change his lifestyle and get in cover-model shape.
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👉 If you’re short for time and are just looking for the lessons I learned and wished someone had told me before, scroll down to “24 Things I Wished I knew Before Starting My 24-Weeks Body Transformation Programme” below 🙏
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When you hear the words “Dad Bod” what comes to mind? My guess is, you’re probably not thinking of a CrossFit athlete or an MMA champion, but rather you’ve probably got a picture of a man who has gone to seed, with a bulging gut and perhaps a beer in hand.
Think Chris Pratt pre-Guardians of the Galaxy, shirtless comedian Bert Kreische or Daddy Pig.
You see, the problem I’ve found over the years is that most fathers I know who are in great shape are either fitness professionals or work in corporate finance.
Side note, while we’re on the subject, why do the finance folk always seem to be obsessed with going to the gym or seem to be collecting Iron Man medals like they’re going out of fashion? Hit me up @markleruste if you think you’ve figured it out.
But the thing is, I am neither a fitness professional or in corporate finance.
I run my own small business, I have two young kids, I speak on stages for a living, I have signed up to more online fitness coaching tutorial programmes than I am comfortable to disclose here and I try and write books that are hopefully helpful for those who read them.
Like many other dads before me, becoming a father radically changed my life to say the least. From one day to the next just like that, life as I once knew it was over. Forever.
It probably didn’t help that just months before my partner got pregnant, I had recently quit my steady job as Country Manager at a global charity to pursue my dream of starting my own impact-driven business.
Oh, and that right before quitting my job I decided to take out a mortgage to buy my flat.
So being in the early stages of starting a company while juggling the changes that comes with becoming a parens for the first time, from the shift in our relationship to figuring out how to keep a tiny human alive wasn’t easy to say the least.
At one point, I remember telling Julie that I felt lonely. That I missed my friends.
It was hard for me to say that out loud, but it was true. When I had a job to go do, sure the commute was a bit of a drag but as some of us were brutaly reminded during Covid, it was quite nice being around other human beings, even the slightly over chatty annoying ones.
As much as I’ve come to appreciate my own company and being in my own space, I actuallyy thrive in community. I love being part of a team and working towards building something meaningful.
In fact, I love bouncing off other people’s energies and hearing about other people’s weekends, projects and updates.
I also used to enjoy meeting up with friends or going out to live events. Things that went out the window the moment I became a dad. Especially since we live in London, a big city in a different country than where are parents or family support live.
Our daughter was a year and a bit when Julie told me she was pregnant, meaning having two kids relatively close meant that our social life was quasi non-existent.
And as such, I became more socially isolated, spent more time working from home and forgot to take care of myself all together.
But when my kids were around 3 and 1, and had moved to South London by then, they started to point at my belly and say, “look dad! You’ve got the same tummy as The Gruffalo”.
We all laughed, but deep down, I knew they were right and that I had to do something about it.
Problem was, I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to turn the boat around and avoid the impeding health complications of a wave coming my way.
Because for as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to get in shape.
Not just in any shape, I wanted to get in phenomenal shape.
We’re talking OMG-cover-model-mma-fighter-check-out-that-hot-body shape.
To be honest, my idea of getting in great shape was oblivious to how I wanted to feel once I got there. I just wanted to look the part: broad shoulders, a six pack and arms that looked like they could take of business.
You know, nothing crazy, just like Brad Pitt in Fight Club….
And who cared what the price was to pay to get there.
This was partly, if not mostly, shaped by my experience of spending two decades of reading on and off men’s health magazines, being subjected to Hollywood’s ideal of a male physique (from Brad Pitt’s Fight Club Tyler Durden to Arnold Schwarzenegger or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to Captain America).
Having been an MMA and UFC fan since 2009 has meant that I’ve somehow drawn up an image in my mind as to what the ultimate male body should look like and be capable of doing.
Problem is, no matter how much I wanted, or how hard (I thought) I tried, I always fell short of my goals and systamitacaly fell off the wagon.
Plus, let’s face it, donuts taste awesome.
I mean I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve tried to get in shape but failed to do so.
You see, I’d read online fitness blogs, watch YouTube videos, buy special workout books at airports such as “the gym-free workout” or “functional fitness” or “the fighter’s playbook”, I’d cut out articles in magazines, listen to podcasts or try out the latest fad diet (plant-based, keto, paleo, low carb, high protein, etc. you name it) and hope that by guzzling down protein shakes, I’d somehow get in shape.
But alas, like Sisyphus it seemed that all my efforts were in vain: I always chose slouching on the couch flicking through Netflix or binge eating my way out of how I felt vs doing the work and consistently sticking to what I said I would do.
That’s why every year come December 31st, like clockwork, I’d write down, “this year I will get in the best shape of my life!” And somehow fool myself into believing that this year would be different.
But just like in the 1993 Groundhog Day film starring Bill Murray (except really my film should have been called a Groundhog Year), I’d be back to where I started just weeks into January and systemically fail to come beach-body ready come summer time.
“Next year, it will be different!” I’d kid myself staring at pictures of myself on the beach with my family. It never was different. In fact, if any thing, it was getting worse.
But if we’re being really honest here, the truth is the reason why I never got in shape wasn’t because of a lack of information or access to the right education. In fact, if anything I was suffering from infobecity!
No, the biggest thing that held me back, it turns out, are a bunch of limiting beliefs that have sabotaged my fitness and business goals my entire life.
Here are the 5 most common limiting beliefs I bought into that ended up holding me back for over three decades when it came down to my health:
#1 There’s no way I could ever look like them.
This is probably the biggest excuse I let myself believe, that the men I saw on my screen or in the magazines I read were somehow built different.
That they were gifted or had talents and skills that I simply didn’t posses. It wasn’t that it was my fault, it’s just that it wasn’t fair. So why even bother?
#2 I’m genetically fucked.
My dad is overweight, has high blood pressure, has had not one but two strokes and if left untended, can easily single handily hoover down every nibbles you put on the table, without the need to chew and he can do so in a blink of an eye.
I don’t have any memories of doing any sports with my dad, because let’s face it, my dad isn’t sporty. He’s an amazing dad, he’s a musician, an artist and is sensitive, but he’s not an athlete or someone who likes to push himself outside of his comfort zone.
Basically, sport was never his thing.
It’s not just my dad though, my uncles who I haven’t seen in decades are overweight and my dad’s older brother is severely obese.
My grandmother Mimine was festively plump to say the least. So as far as I was concerned, I was genetically fucked from the get go and therefore no amount of diet or exercise could ever reverse my genetic handicap.
As I’ve learned over the last 24 weeks, that’s TOTAL.BULL.SHIT.
#3 I don’t have the self discipline or will power necessary to succeed
If your expectation of what’s possible in the future is based on what’s happened to you in the past, and your past involves you failing every time you try, it’s easy to build a false assumption that it will never workout, no matter how hard you try or not matter what you do.
This is probably the most perverse one that I had to override, and a great book that helped me to do just that was “Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life” by Nir Eyal, who talks about how weight management (and time management) is actually pain management.
Turns out there are ways to condition your ability to focus on what you want and to follow through on the promises you make to yourself. And it has something to do with time boxing…
(If you’re curious to explore this topic further, check out episode #162 of my award-winning podcast The Unconventionalists entitled “How To Become Hyper Focused and Indistractable with Nir Eyeal”)
#4 If only I had the time / resources / support / [fill in the blank]
When all else fails, I’d fall back on the easy way out: I just don’t have the time. Or, I can’t afford it. Or it’s hard to find the right environment, etc.
Again, when you’re feeling stuck it’s really easy to find excuses or reasons as to why if only you had more time, money, energy, resources etc you’d succeed.
But the hard truth is, it’s all rubbish. You have everything you need right now.
#5 It’s not may fault
This is probably the most uncomfortable one for me to admit outloud. But the truth is, as you’ll find out below, I blamed everybody else instead of taking ownership of my situation.
I blamed my partner for not being understanding of my needs to be physically active, be it on weekends or when we’re on holiday, I’d blame my kids for waking up at night and messing up my sleep, I’d blame my workload, I’d blame social media, I’d blame Deliveroo or chocolate-chip cookies for tasting so good…
I outsourced taking responsibility and made up a ton of excuses, and ultimately that’s what held me back for so long.
But before I share with you some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned along the way and what I wished someone had told me before I started six months ago, let me give you some context as to why seeing pictures of myself looking like the guys I’ve seen on TV or on cover magazines over the years is still so surreal to me.
Show Me Your Ribs
I grew up in France in the 80s as a super skinny kid. As in, I was so skinny that I remember a few times my teacher at school asking me to take my t-shirt off to show the rest of the class what the human body anatomy looked like, so she could count in real time how many ribs we had.
I thought it was funny at the time and was happy to help out.
Much to the annoyance of my best friend Denis who was the opposite to me, it didn’t matter how much I ate (mostly pasta, grated cheese, ketchup and milk) I simply never put on an ounce of fat.
To put things into perspective, by the time I went to University when I was 19* I weighed 57kgs (125.6lbs) and measured the same height I am today (roughly 182cm/183cm — 5"11/6").
*(no, I didn’t take a Gap Year, as I mention in my bestselling book “Glow in the Dark” (Hachette UK) I was held back a year at school when I was 12 and eventually kicked out of conventional education system when I was 16, but that’s a different story altogether…)
Thanks to a typical student diet of Pot Noodles and baked beans on toast, smoking weed, drinking, partying all weekend and being physically active all the time, meant that I stayed relatively skinny throughout my first two years at Uni.
The Last Cigarette
But it was during my year abroad living and studying in Spain that I decided to stop smoking cigarettes altogether. Back then I was smoking a pack a day and on December 4th, 2005 as I sat in my bedroom at my desk in our shared flat, I put out my last cigarette stub in the ashtray by my laptop.
I had tried quitting before, but after blowing the smoke that would usually go through my lungs through a tissue, and seeing the colour of the tar and nicotine so clearly in front me, it gave me the nudge I desperately needed to quit.
I remember it like it were yesterday. And I haven’t touched a cigarette since. (Fun fact, I occasionally have dreams where I catch myself smoking and going, “What are you doing!?”)
Problem was, I failed to take into considering why most French people are skinny: They smoke like chimneys, love to have a good moan over a glass of wine and barely eat.
When I quit smoking at 21 years old, for the first time in my life I started putting on a little bit of weight. Nothing crazy, but enough to solicit comments and be on the receiving ends of a few friendly “fat shaming” jokes.
It didn’t feel great if I’m honest. I had been conscious my entire life about how skinny and short I was (I got my growth spurt quite late) and now I was having to worry about potentially how much weight I had put on.
I didn’t think too much of it, as by the time I got to my final year at Uni, I was too busy trying to focus on finishing my final year exams while juggling the emotions I was struggling with as a result of hearing the news via a letter sent to me by my ex’s dad, telling me that Carola had sadly tragically died.
One thing that helped throught it all was to join the University Kickboxing Club, as having something to look forward to where I could get rid of my pent up aggression and express some of my anger in a healthy and controlled way was super helpful.
The Corporate Dropout
Shortly after graduating from University, and by some miracle managed to pull off a 2:1 despite being on track to get a 3rd and having to deal with the loss of my ex, I started my first job in corporate media sales living and working abroad in emerging markets.
From South Africa to Peru, Kazakhstan to The Gambia, Cyprus to Bahrain, I was living the full blow-out corporate lifestyle.
I spent most of my time sitting down either at my desk or in a boardroom, going from one meeting to the next, stressed out, eating at restaurants all the time, drinking and partying too much and exercising very little.
As a result I started to put on a few too many kilos. Enough for my friends and family to notice and being nicknamed for the first time, “fat Mark”.
I’m not surprised in a way as I had gone from looking like a scrawny Eminem wannabe to a chubby corporate employee.
But this was new to me, as in, I remember feeling embarrassed for the first time to take my jumper off and having to pull down on my t-shirt at the same time, as to not show my belly fat.
I talked about this period of my life at length in my first book “It’s Not You, It’s Me” (you can get it for free here) so I’m not going to bore you here with it.
But the short version is after going through a pretty dark period of my life, and going through some form of depression I had ballooned to the heaviest I had ever been.
MMA Saved My Life
Following a bad breakup with my ex, I quit my job, left Peru and came back to live at my parents house in France.
That’s when I probably hit my lowest moment. So much so that on some days, I struggled to get out of bed.
I didn’t know what was wrong with me (mental health awareness back then was not at all what it is today) and I just didn’t want to socialise or be around people.
Which is super weird as I’m usually the exact opposite.
Thankfully, in 2010 thanks to my dad dragging me out to a end of year party in our small village, I bumped into Jerome, who was built like he could run through a brick wall. He was a coach who ran a friendly MMA gym down the road and trained the police and special forces. He invited me to come down and check it out.
I immediately fell in love with it.
Being part of a community, feeling as though I was learning, growing and contributing, and feeling like I had a sense of meaning and purpose and somewhere to be three times a week gave me the lifeline I needed to get out of my rut.
There’s a Twitter thread from Professor Adam Lane Smith, author of Slaying Your Fears, that reads, “Depressed men need purpose, a mission and the power to accomplish that mission. Give a man those three things and he can crawl over broken glass with a smile.”
Smith believes that men need a mission in life and they need to believe they can fulfil that mission.
In his conversation with Chris Williamson, a former club promoter, reality-TV celebrity-turned-YouTuber, and host of the popular Modern Wisdom podcast, Adam Lane Smith shared that, “I saw a post on Twitter not long ago: ‘Men would rather lift weights than go to therapy.’ Well yeah because that makes them feel powerful! One of the number one things when men are depressed that I encourage them to do is start lifting weights. Because you can see the physical changes in your body, and you feel powerful again.”
I couldn’t agree more.
But my sense of progress and fulfilment came to a sudden halt when I blew my knee in an amateur National Bugeï (MMA) tournament in November 2011 with 2 weeks training and zero previous competitive fighting experience, to raise funds and awareness for a men’s health charity.
It took me back to a pretty dark place as I couldn’t walk and had to rehabilitate my knee.
And as you can imagine, I started to put the weight back on.
Thankfully, around that time I discovered life coaching thanks to a family friend Roya Ferdows who was a Certified Co-Active Coach and took me on as a client.
She gave me the space to reflect and explore how I felt and more importantly, allowed me to express what I wanted out of my life and career, and what I needed to do or needed to change in order to get what I wanted.
Professional Moustache Farmer
I eventually started exercising again and even started a blog “Life In Shape: Living Life on the Fit Lane” where I committed to exercise every single day for a whole year.
The ideas was simple: I would document my workouts, what I ate, take progress photos and share them on my blog in hopes to inspire someone else and to keep myself accountable in the process.
To be fair, I managed to hold it up for around 120 days, but I injured my back carrying groceries from the supermarket back to my flat.
I know, not exactly screaming “Spartan”, right?
After a short stint working at a global graduate business school and launching my viral video CV “A Dream Job Would Be Nice”, I joined the Movember Foundation in 2012 as Country Manager tasked to launch the campaign in France, Switzerland and re-boost the operations in Belgium and Spain.
I literally became a walking talking billboard for men’s health.
That’s right, I was a professional moustache farmer.
As I spent 2/3 of my time on the road traveling across four European countries to try and get as many people as possible to sign up and take part in the Movember campaign, I was relatively active and had gone back down to a reasonable weight (mid 70s kgs).
I remember at some point in 2013 I hired Ray Buckton to train me at GymBox Farringdon and he was awesome. Between 2013/2014 he got me in great shape (I believe I went down to around 14% body fat at the time) ahead of my first book launch.
The Perfect Storm
Fast forward 8 years though, and I’m trying to launch and grow my own world-changing speaking business as a public speaker. I’m doing my best to produce a weekly podcast of my show The Unconventionalists (that I launched in 2015 and that went on to win “Best Interview Podcast” of the year at the 2021 Podcasting For Business Awards), we have a newborn and a toddler, there’s a global pandemic and as a result we are all locked into a small flat on the second floor of a building in North London, I’m juggling work calls with a screaming baby while balancing my laptop on an iron board that’s acting as a pop-up stand up desk in our bedroom.
At some point I decide it would be a great idea to try and write a second book, so in 2019 I embark on what can only be described as a 3.5 year emotional yo-yo roller coaster journey to try and write my next book.
It’s painful, it’s agonising, but I keep going.
When Covid hits, as a public speaker, 90% of my business pipeline gets wiped out in just six days. Almost overnight I go from having potentially my best year yet, to looking like I may be out of business.
As you can imagine, that brought a lot of stress which means my diet wasn’t exactly #eatclean.
Thankfully I managed to pivot and provide some remote services to my clients and deliver online workshops and talks to keep the business a float and some.
In 2021, thanks to the help of the awesome Sophie Devonshire and David Over, I sign a book deal with Hachette UK / John Murray Learning to publish my second book Glow in the Dark.
Meaning I now have a deadline by which I need to finish my manuscript 😱
Problem is, I realise half way through that I had been working towards writing the wrong book. So I have to go back to the drawing board, manage to convince my publisher to trust my decision and rush to the finish line to get the book ready.
Let’s just say that the stress of it all, from trying to run my own business, being a dad to two young kids, living away from our family, dealing with a global pandemic and locking myself up in front of my laptop for hours and hours franticly trying to finish my book on time while juggling clients and eating mostly takeaway food or pasta, meant that I completely neglected myself in the process.
This is objectively the biggest I’d ever been.
Weight, like life, creeps up on you. It’s a funny feeling to write this journey down and go back through some of my old photos and realise just how much on a daily basis we simply fail to see how our short-term thinking, actions or decisions will impact us on the long run?
10-Weeks Body Transformation
Around the 6th September 2022 I saw a post appear on my IG feed from Martin Chapman, Co-Founder of RankCandy and Twylu who had previously attended one of the courses I taught on how to raise your profile as a business leader and entrepreneur via the Dent Global Key Person of Influence accelerator, and later on interviewed me on his NXT Level podcast about my book Glow in the Dark.
He shared his before and after picture of his 10 week transformation programme using the Centr App (the fitness app created in 2019 by Hollywood star Chris Hemsworth that was sold for an estimated $200million)
What moved and inspired me was how Martin shared the story of how as a result of his wife getting Covid who never fully recovered from it, their whole life and time schedule dramatically changed. As a result he didn’t have time to train in BJJ (the sport he loved) and had let himself go.
But thanks to doing what he could with what he had he managed to drop 12.5lbs (5.7kgs) in 10 weeks.
In his post he shared the things that helped and what made his transformation possible, and it was pretty amazing.
It inspired me and made me feel as though it was perhaps possible for us mere mortals to get in shape, as after all I had also previously invested in online programmes.
In fact I had invested not once but twice in Joe Wicks’ The Body Coach programme! (in November 2016 and March 2019). But either completed them or never even started…
Oh and if that’s not bad enough I even invested in his The Body Coach app programme (November 2022) and although I think his programmes and recipes are awesome I never seemed to be able to stick with them as I lacked the focus and dedication needed to do a remote solo programme.
Don’t get me started on how many online courses I enrolled to get in shape…
But in 2022, two life events changed everything.
“Don’t F**k This Up, Mark!”
On the 27th September 2022, Richard, my best-friend’s dad, died. I’d only seen him a few weeks before so it felt totally sureal.
I’d known Richard my entire life. He was a constant figure throughout my childhood and adult life as someone I always loved to see and hang out with.
He was kind, calm and always made the time for us to have a chat over a glass of wine, good food and cheese.
As you can probably tell, he was French.
A native of my hometown Fontainebleau, he had spent his entire life championing our town, running his prestigious family hotel that his father had passed on to him (I have so many fond memories of Denis and me running around the corridors, hiding in the rooms, stealing croissants and pain au chocolats from the kitchen…) and he was an active political figure (in 2014 Richard came runner up in the local elections in the local Mayor election race).
As a result, he touched many, many people’s lives.
He was a well known and loved individual and his funeral was a testimony of his impact.
On the 4th October 2022, hundreds of people from all over gathered in Fontainebleau to pay their respects.
The church was jam packed.
I remember standing outside the church in the cold, with Matt, another childhood friend of mine, welcoming people, still unsure if hugging was OK post-covid habits.
At one point, and I’m not sure how, I ended up agreeing (or volunteering) to carry Richard’s coffin into the church for the ceremony.
It was a big wooden coffin.
Now although Richard had lost quite a bit of weight in the years leading to his death — as he had taken up working out with a personal trainer and was looking great — cancer got the better of him.
Towards the end of his life he had put on quite a bit of weight. Mostly due to the medication, chemo and condition he was wrestling with, but also let’s be honest, for his penchant for being “un bon vivant”.
As I bend down to secure the coffin on my shoulder, I realise that we definitely would have needed six people to carry him. We were four.
I was at the front, holding him on my left shoulder, and as the doors of the church opened and we wobbled our way into the gothic wooden frame, all I could think was, “don’t drop him Mark, don’t fuck this up!” on repeat, as I struggled to carry the weight and look calm in the process, while everyone else’s eyes were on us.
We made it to the end of what felt like the longest isle in the world, my shoulder and arms were throbbing, and thankfully we were helped by the funeral team right at the end to put his coffin down in front of the priest.
Shortly after that moment I realised three things:
#1 I need to get stronger so that when my dad dies, who by the way isn’t exactly a lightweight either, I can have the strength and stamina to carry him and be able to be present in the moment and not have to think or worry about potentially dropping him because I’m physically not up to the task.
#2 I need to loose weight and get in shape, not just now, but for life, as I don’t want my kids to struggle to carry me when I die.
#3 I need to invest more time and love into the six people who will carry my coffin. I once heard “Watch your six” an expression typically associated in the military when you’re out in enemy territory to say “watch your back”. But actually watch your six is also to look after the six most important people in your life.
Of course shortly after I returned home, life resumed, work got busy, I still had to wrap up some loose ends with my book, I still had Deliveroo on speed dial and still made up excuses as to why I couldn’t go train or roll in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
“It’s All Your Fault”
Shortly after Richard’s death, I was targeted on Instagram by a video ad by Luke Doran, founder of The One Percent who basically said something I’d heard before, and knew deep down was true, but had somehow pushed away, and yet, for some reason on that particular day and in the particular way he said it, Luke’s message landed.
“It’s all your fault. You’re the one who is responsible for the fact that you look and feel like sh*t. It’s not your wife, it’s not your kids. It’s not the fact you’re too busy at work, it’s all your fault. It’s not the fact you got sore, knackered knees. It’s not the fact your partner won’t let you “invest” in yourself. It’s not the fact you’re too busy running the kids around. It’s all your fault.
Now, as soon as you take responsibility for this fact, it’s incredibly empowering.”
He goes on to explain how blaming others is extremely disempowering because we give up our sense of agency over our destiny and ability to change things.
But the moment we take ownership is the moment we can do something about it, he finished off with the following message: “…as soon as you own up to that fact the sooner you can move forward make some changes and start to feel better about yourself and become the best version of yourself.”
The truth is, I had blamed everyone else but myself.
I pointed the fingers at my partner, I blamed my kids for messing up my sleep, I blamed my dad, I blamed my “Labrador gene” that made me want to eat all the time. I blamed the whole world.
But the truth is, it really was my fault. I just didn’t want to face the reality.
Luke and I ended up speaking over Zoom on the 13th October 2022 to explore potentially working together, and he said something that I could really relate to. Which was, typically when we fall off the wagon, instead of getting back on and keep driving we get out, notice that one of the tires might be slightly punctured or have a crack, and instead of fixing it, we slash all the other tires, just because why the hell not.
Because self sabotage is an easy way out.
As much as I appreciated his bold forward coaching-style, I realised that online training or digital support wasn’t something I was looking for at that stage, as I was looking for hands on in-person support, which meant that we didn’t end up working together.
But Luke’s words had a long lasting impact on me for sure.
The Fat Hamster
Four weeks later, on the 17th November 2022, ahead of the official UK launch of my book Glow in the Dark that was scheduled for the 8th December 2022* (you can watch the book trailer here), we decided to do a photoshoot to update my outdated profile pictures for the official media kit.
*(But the official global book launch of Glow in the Dark was April 2023)
As I was walking around the streets of East London with Ed Espinosa, my awesome videographer and photographer, we were taking shots of me casually leaning against walls and crossing my arms as if I had something important to say…
At one point, Ed showed me some of the stills of our shoot on his camera, and I couldn’t help but notice that it appeared that Ed had somehow decided to take pictures from an angle that wasn’t exactly, ‘flattering’.
“Do you mind taking pictures from a different angle?” I asked. “As I look like a fat hamster!”
Ed looked confused. He looked at his camera, then looked at me.
“But…” he hesitated, “that’s just how you look…” he replied looking perplex.
WTF? I thought to myself. Is that how I actually look?
When I received the final shots, they all looked great but I couldn’t help but notice just how bigger I looked than I saw myself.
Weight gain, like life, creeps on you when you least expect it.
A combination of both the funeral and the photoshoot gone wrong and the fact that I was going to turn 40 shortly, led me to pull the trigger on getting in shape once and for all.
But I knew that if I was going to go for it, I really needed to go big or not bother at all.
The Goldman Sachs of Personal Trainers
Four months after I first moved to London in 2012, I remember picking up the September 2012 issue of Men’s Fitness magazine with a picture of Joe Warner, a MF writer on the front cover who got into cover-model shape in 12 weeks.
I remember looking at that cover and going, “there’s no way that’s real or possible!”
Still, I read through the entire article while on my commute up to work, and what I remember from it was reading about how Joe a former vegetarian who mostly ran to exercise, had trained with Nick Mitchell, a former lawyer turned Founder and CEO of Ultimate Performance (UP).
One of the pre-requisist for Nick to train Joe though was that Joe had to ditch his vegetarian diet and start eating meat again.
Joe agreed.
In his article, Joe went on to explain what it was like eating steaks for breakfast or puking in the gym, how tough it all was, how food was to fuel the body, not the taste buds, and how his colleagues teased him when he came back from the tanning salon before his photoshoot.
I remember thinking that’s crazy. But if he did it, maybe I can do it too?
So off I went and started cooking steaks and broccoli with nuts for breakfast (my housemates at the time hated me for the smell it caused in the house!) and started hitting the gym at 6am before heading to work.
Alas, due to my hectic travel schedule and a lack of commitment, I went back to my usual routine within a few weeks.
Before you knew it, both the magazine and the follow up Men’s Fitness Body Transformation Plan book started collecting dust and I went back to just hoping for the best.
But I had not forgotten about the possibility of getting in great shape. So, in February 2014 I went to visit the Ultimate Performance City gym near Old Street. The original gym where it all started, today they have 23+ locations around the world).
I remember walking down the stairs and opening up the door and catching a distinct smell of tuna salad (they’ve since removed any microwaves in the gym 😂 )
But I was impressed by the reception of the trainers and the shape people were in.
But at the time, as a men’s health campaigner on a charity salary, meant that the £3,727 investment in a UP 12 week programme was way out of my league.
Turns out, six packs does come out at a cost after all…
But over the years I’d get random emails from Nick Mitchell’s newsletter sharing pictures of before and after client transformations, and each time I just couldn’t believe how unbelievable the before and after pictures looked like.
If anything this is a lesson in marketing, in that marketing is simply a memory game.
The reason why you communicate to your audience or prospective clients on a regular basis is to remind them of who you are, what you can do for them and how they can get what you have to sell or share. So that when the decision needs to be made as to who to go for, you first come to mind.
When Top Gun Maverick came out in the UK towards the end of May 2022, I went to see it with Julie and my father in law. I loved every minute of it, so much so that I went to see it again in June when I went to visit Denis in California and another time on my laptop when it came out on Amazon Prime.
I was impressed with the physique of the cast, and somehow saw on my IG feed a video pop up of Glen Powell (who plays “Hangman” in Maverick) talking about training at Ultimate Performance to get in shape for the movie.
Well that was it. If it’s good enough for Top Gun, surely it must be good enough for me?
So in December 2023, I decided to take the plunge, take my book advance and invest in my last hope to getting in the best shape of my life, especially knowing that I was only a year away from turning 40.
I also wanted to make sure that I somehow broke through my limiting beliefs and prove to myself that I could do this. That I wasn’t destined to be physically the same as my dad or in the shape typically associated with dad bods.
I wanted to be physically active to play with my grandkids and change the perception of what a dad bod could be.
I wanted my son to have a role model for when he grows up.
Body Composition Ninja
From the moment I was matched up with my trainer Rob McNeil, I knew I was in great hands. We started exchanging messages, Rob was responsive, supportive and professional even before we ever met.
When we met on January 4th, 2022 at UP City we had an initial assessment of taking all my body measurements, photos and had a short workout to see how I moved.
I came in pretty chunky, weighing in a whopping 81.9kgs (180.5lbs) and carrying over 25.6% body fat.
When Rob told me where he expected me to be by the end of our 12 week programme, using their in-house UP software programme, I laughed. I simply didn’t think a) that was possible or b) that it was necessary.
I mean, “I’m not that fat! Am I?…”
Turns out, I was a lot bigger than I thought.
Over the course of the next 12 weeks we focused on getting the basics right, logging in every day my weight, my daily steps count, my hours of sleep (or lack of) as well as measure and weigh everything I ate to stick to a strict calorie deficit diet.
I’m not going to lie, it was particularly hell at the start going from a diet of mostly eating takeaway to suddenly eating grilled chicken, veggies and a pinch of complex carbs.
Before starting my programme on January 4th, 2023, I was probably consuming easily 3,000 to 3,500 calories a day, if not more.
Pizzas, burgers, noodles, you name it.
But suddenly I was put on a 1,600 calories for four weeks and asked to strip back my carbs and increase my protein.
Although the UP App can be dodgy as hell sometimes and drove me crazy more than once, it was super helpful to have one place to log everything in and have something to help figure out the macros of each meal I made or ordered.
Calorie Counting
I feel the need to address calorie counting here because I know it’s a hot topic and people have very formed opinions about it.
Here’s the way I see it or explain it to my friends: I don’t think calorie counting is something anyone should aspire to do on the long run. In fact most studies have found that there is no evidence that a strict calorie deficit diet helps on the long term to keep the weight off. In fact, it can have the reverse effect sometimes.
I get it, calorie counting can lead to all sorts of unhealthy relationship to food and probably can lead to developing some form of eating disorder, as you start seeing everything you eat as numbers, or “good” and “bad” instead of actual proper food.
You become obsessed with macro breakdown (protein, fats and carbs) and are constantly looking for food labels that will make your job to calorie count easier.
But I think on the short term, and at various points in time, it can be really helpful to give you an idea of what you’re actually consuming, especially if your goal is to loose fat and/or build muscle and you’re not getting the results you want.
As 90% of the process is going to be your diet, not how much you exercise.
Think of it this way, imagine if you were driving on the highway or motorway, and you had digital speed metres every other metre along the way showing you how fast you’re actually driving. Blinking red when you’re over the speed limit or green when you’re under it.
You might think, “no way! Is that how fast I was driving? I thought I was doing 50mph, turns out I’m doing 78mph.” Eventually, you’d naturally start adjusting your speed and get a sense for what the proper speed limit is.
And my hope is that after a while you won’t need the speed test along the way, until maybe you start getting speeding tickets again, and then you can go back through the same process again.
Calorie counting is a bit like that. I used to think I knew what ‘healthy food’ was or how “calorific” certain food groups were but I was wrong.
I was blown away when I started measuring what I eat.
When my friends tell me they don’t understand why they’re not loosing weight despite doing CrossFit 3 x a week I simply say, “are you tracking everything you eat?” because the truth is, we either are lying to ourselves or are simply oblivious to how many calories we actually eat.
Of course it’s a little more complicated than calories in, calories out, but really, if you want to loose fat, as far as I can tell, you need to eat less than you consume. And hopefully consume the right kind of nutrients that are bio available and that will fuel your workouts and performance.
Today, I can look at a bowl of porridge and depending on if you’re using milk (and what type of milk) or water I can tell you the macro breakdown in a few seconds.
I can look at a chicken breast and give you a rough estimate of how many grams that weights or how many grams of protein there is in an egg (roughly 13g).
So although I found it hell, and found weighing how many blueberries or almonds you’re having for your snack pretty ridiculous, I know for a fact that I would have never got in the shape I am in today in that period of time without monitoring what I eat.
Case and point, look at the graph below:
You’re looking at the six months period from the moment I started my body transformation programme on January 4th, 2023 to when I did my photoshoot on June 4th, 2023.
As you can see I started off at 81.9kgs and went down to 68.9kgs (at my lowest for the photoshoot). That’s a 13kgs (28.6lbs) drop.
To put that in context, if I were competing in the UFC, I started off as a middleweight and finished as a lightweight, meaning in January I would have competed against the likes of UFC champion Israel Adesanya and in June I would be against former lightweight champion Conor McGregor…
The secret was to both weighed myself (more or less) every single day and to monitor what I ate every day. And of course to make sure that I got my 3 workouts in the week, got my 2 cardio sessions in and hit roughly 10,000 steps a day.
As you can see, it’s not a linear process, I often dropped weight, then gained some, plateaued for a while then dropped again, etc.
But in April 2023, the wheels came off.
I traveled to California for work and ended up catching up with my best friend Denis, and let’s just say that we became teenagers again.
I stopped calorie counting or caring about what I ate and just stuffed my face.
I gained about 5kgs in one week and that is one of the dark sides of being on a restrictive diet for a long period of time.
I mean look at the size of this French Toast I ordered in San Diego! It was ridiculous. And by ridiculous, I do mean ridiculously tasty 😋
My trainer Rob was not a happy bunny.
In fact he was 100% disappointed…
But the thing is, the moment I landed back in the UK, I got back on it and just pushed the pedal to the metal until our date for the photoshoot.
Although Rob was concerned that I wouldn’t be ready for my photoshoot on time, I told him I was on it like a car bonnet.
Especially once the shoot was confirmed and locked in the diary.
I really pushed hard and did my best, and in the end I’m glad to report that I managed to drop down to 11.5% body fat (that’s a 14% body fat drop) and weighed 68.9kgs, the lightest I’ve weighed in 20 years since I was in my first two years at University back in 2003 and 2004!
Here is the final result of my before and after 24 weeks body transformation:
Now I don’t know if I’ll make it in Nick’s next newsletter or if I’ll make it on the front cover of a magazine or not, but it doesn’t really matter.
As I’m pretty chuffed with the final rsult.
And if you want to see the actual before and after photos from all angles, here it is, 6 months to the day:
And now, for what you’ve all been waiting for…everything I wished I had known before starting my journey to get in the best shape of my life, as well as a few things I think not enough people talk about openly.
24 Things I Wished I knew Before Starting My 24 Weeks Ultimate Dad Body Transformation Programme
I’m not quite sure how to summarise what I’ve learned over the past 6 months of fully committing to my health but I guess if I had to summarise some of the key points, this is what I would tell you in no particular order:
#1 Ignore the voice inside your head.
Probably the first thing I’d say is that no matter what your voice is saying inside your head, or how negative it is trying to be, ignore it. You’re going to have to learn to keep pushing through even when you think what you’re doing isn’t working or that there’s no way in hell you’ll be able to achieve your goal.
Trust me, when I wrote Glow in the Dark, for over 3 years I had to sit down with that voice on a daily basis telling me how shit my writing was, how nobody cared about what I had to say, how nothing I was creating was original, etc.
You learn quickly that that voice never really goes away and that the game isn’t to try and make it go away, but rather learn how to keep going and ignore it as much as you can.
Despite that voice trying to derail me from my goals, Glow in the Dark recently won the “Best Self-Help Business Book” of the year at the Business Book Awards 2023. So again, ignore that unwanted housemate as much as possible because if you can keep going long enough, despite it’s negative intentions, you will prevail.
#2 Tame your inner b*tch.
Excuse the language but ultimately that’s what helped me push through. There is always going to be a part of you who doesn’t want to go to the gym, who doesn’t want to get your cardio in or who would rather grab the tub of ice cream than eat another high protein meal or exercise.
There will always be an excuse, or some resistance camouflaged as something reasonable trying to interfere with you changing your life or challenging the status quo.
You have to learn to override your preference for comfort and embrace the celebration of discomfort. There is no way around it. Be in control and train yourself to be the one in charge.
#3 Stay directionally correct
This is a tough one to wrap your mind around but the whole point is to keep your eyes on the prize and remember that as long as you’re moving forward you’re on track.
Short term losses in the end do not matter as long as you keep going. There were weeks where I simply wasn’t shifting any weight or not improving my performance in the gym, but I knew that if I stayed at it long enough, I’d eventually win. And I did.
Don’t let a side step derail you’re whole mission. Keep going.
#4 Don’t sweat the small stuff
It’s easy to think that dropping 200g is nothing, but when you compound all the 100s of grams that you loose over a period of time you start seeing a big difference.
That’s why it’s important not to focus on the metrics on a daily basis but rather compare your data over a period of time (say 7 to 21 days).
#5 Celebrate the little win
Yes, even if it feels like you’re still far away from your goal it’s important to take the time to celebrate what you’ve achieved. Don’t over obsess on metrics, such as your weight or your body fat percentage. But rather check in on how you feel and look like in the mirror.
Give yourself some rewards or treats along the way, as what’s the point of putting in all that effort if you’re not enjoying the process?
#6 Track everything.
Again, as I mentioned above, the goal is not for you to have to do this for too long or rely to heavily on data or technology as a crutch but the point is if you want to understand why you’re not getting in the shape you want you need to understand what metrics you’re dealing with. By measuring your input and output you will be able to make adjustments and see where you can do better.
I went a little OTT…
- I started off with a Constant Glucose Monitor to understand why I was struggling with my energy and sleep.
- I wore a heart monitor and sleep assistant to show me when I could train hard or when I needed to take it easy.
- I used my iWatch to log in my workouts and count my steps.
- I used a digital smart scale that paired up with my phone and Apple devices to keep track of my body measurements.
- And I had the UP App to log in all the basic metrics I needed to keep track of on a daily basis.
It was a little extreme but it did help me see what I need to do in order to fix a few issues. For example I kept waking up in the middle of the night, and I realised that my blood sugar levels would drop in the middle of the night, and that would coincide with when I woke up.
By simply adding more complex carbs in the evening (half a banana or porridge) before going to bed, I managed to regulate my blood sugar levels and it helped me have a deeper sleep.
I know, geeky stuff but I love it.
#7 Focus on the basics
Here’s the biggest aha I had. It’s not rocket science. Getting in great shape or finding success in whatever you do isn’t about being just lucky or winning the DNA lottery. It’s actually about just doing the boring basics and just doing the work.
As long as you focus on doing the basics (hydration, sleep, steps, sleep, protein, etc) and keep doing them you will get results.
It was night and day, as in when I didn’t do the basics, I would see my weight go up or my performance go down. When I dialled it back in, I would see my metrics move in the right direction.
If all else fails, focus on making sure you drink enough water, get as many steps as you can, sleep as much as possible and prioritise lean protein and veggies when possible.
#8 There is nothing sexy about the process
There is nothing glamorous, sexy or “Instagramable” about the hard graft process of transforming your body or achieving success. It sucks. It’s tough.
There are days where you’ll be sore. Days where you just want to give up. And yet you still have to stay on track and believe somehow that it will all be wort it.
“The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses — behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.” - Muhammad Ali
#9 You’re going to have to have difficult conversations
This is something that I haven’t heard many people talk about but not all of us have the luxury of having super supportive partners who are really happy about us changing our lifestyle so dramatically.
My partner found it really hard, and struggled to see me loose so much weight and be so strict about my diet. In fact she hated the whole thing (especially me shaving my chest) and it eventually started to weigh on me and my progress as I was struggling enough with the calorie restriction and intense workouts that I didn’t want to have to deal with her negativity on top of it.
This actually led me to sit down with Julie and explain that this was important to me and that I needed her to at least respect my process and not try and sabotage the whole thing.
To be fair in the end she backed off and even helped out with the kids so I could workout while on holiday and took care of the kids while I prepared for my photoshoot over the weekend. So for that I’m grateful.
#10 Get comfortable being awkward AF
As someone who is half French I can tell you that food for some people is a religion and inviting you to dinner is like welcoming you into their Church, Mosque or Synagogue. So calling people or texting them ahead of time to let them know that you are bringing your own food is awkard AF.
My partner was so embarrassed at times. But when you are that invested into your programme and that committed to the process, you’ll get used to it.
Some will take it personally, others will be happy for you. The point is, if you want to make an impact you’re going to have to make waves.
#11 Invest in a good portable lunch box
This may sound obvious but every time I traveled be it in London or elsewhere, I needed to make sure I could take with me at least one meal ready to eat on the go.
I found an eco-friendly travel ice bag from Black+Blum that I’ve used every single day and I love it! It’s the perfect size to have a small ice pack at the bottom, and a couple of ready made meals inside.
When we traveled with the kids or if I traveled for work, I had a bigger ice bag carrier I got on Amazon (think old school camera bag) that I took with me with a few prep-meals to eat to make sure I always had an option.
As let’s face it, airports, train stations and petrol stations aren’t always easy to help you keep on track of your macros.
#12 Trust me, you’re not getting enough protein. And that’s a fact.
This is the big one that I was most surprised by, and that is before taking on this challenge, I clearly wasn’t eating half enough of protein to fuel my muscle growth. I was eating mostly carbs.
Whether you get your protein source from plants or animal products, if you’re looking to put on muscle you’re probably looking at 1.5 to 2.2 x your bodyweight in kilos. So I was aiming for roughly 150g of protein a day.
And at first I found it SUPER hard. I was supplementing with a protein shake and trying to get as much protein as possible from whole food, clean protein, eggs and dairy products.
Towards the end of the programme I had to pull back on how much protein I was actually eating, as I often was going over my protein target and found it didn’t sit well with my digestive system.
#13 Invest in quality supplements
Not all supplements are created equal. Watch out for fillers, artificial ingredients and be wary any company who do not have double blinded tests on their products. Feel free to try a few and see which ones works best for you.
I personally like VivoLife and the Ultimate Performance range.
I don’t think you need a ton of supplements but a quality protein powder, a multi-vitamin, vitamin D, anti-inflamatory like turmeric, and 5mg of creatine a day should do the trick if you’re looking to build muscle and loose fat (but always consult with your GP or Doctor before hand).
#14 Your feelings are the last thing to change.
I can honestly say that still to this day, looking at my photoshoot, I can’t quite believe it’s me. I never thought in a million years I could ever look like that. You have to become really good at not paying attention to how you feel and trust that your feelings aren’t always right. I know it’s counter intuitive to a lot of the work I do and what people tell you to be in touch with your feelings, but the truth is, as humans we are super basic when it comes down to our primary modus operandi. We’re still hard wired to survive attacks from predators in the wild so anything that takes us away from safety feels like danger.
Keep that in mind next time your body is telling you to hit the snooze button.
#15 If you can afford it, invest in a meal prep delivery service.
As much as I wanted to cook everything from scratch, I quickly realised that it was going to be really hard to cook different meals for the whole family, especially when we’re tired or in a hurry. So I signed up to a meal-prep delivery company for some of my meals that ended up being a life saver for when I needed something fast that was healthy, nutritious and tasty and where I knew I could track my macros as well.
Their customer support was brilliant (shout out to Yasmin!), and any time I had an issue or a question they were super quick to help and always went the extra mile to make sure I had everything I needed.
You can check out The Good Prep here.
#16 Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Ultimately this is a life long change not just a six, twelve or even twenty four weeks. So if you happen to slip along the way, it doesn’t matter. In the six months I trained although I didn’t drink a single drop of alcohol, not even on my birthday or when my book won a Business Book Award, I did have pizza and a couple of burgers.
And while I was in the US I had all sorts of ridiculous food. In the end, it doesn’t matter as long as you don’t make it the norm.
Small side note, after trying a bunch of non-alcoholic beers, which I found tasted pretty average if not nasty as hell, I finally found the best one in my opinion (thanks to my friend Ryan Cowell and Men’s Health Magazine for recommending it) and it’s called “Drop Beer”. I particularly like the lager and IPA.
#17 Keep note of all the food you crave
I have a Notes on my phone entitled “Pig Out Food Porn” where I would list all the foods I was craving at any given point. What that helped me do is tell myself “it’s not that I can’t have this, I just choose not to have it now but I will be able to have it later.” And weirdly, it really helped!
Meaning after my photoshoot I basically had a couple of days of food rampage where I got my cravings out of the way and then I was good to go to go back to eating more balanced once it was out of my system.
#18 Things will take longer, and it will suck a lot more than you think or want.
This is something that I hate to admit but it’s true. I thought I was going to get in Marvel Superhero Character shape in 12 weeks. Except I’m not a Hollywood actor who is literally getting paid and whose job it is to get and stay in shape.
I have kids, I run a small business, I try and go on regular date nights with Julie I travel, my sleep is often sub-optimal, in short, I’m human.
I also experienced a few times diet fatigue, when you’re just so God damn tired of dieting and need to let the steam off a bit.
As a result I signed up for an additional few weeks of training and in the end I’m glad I did because the end result was pretty mind blowing.
And I’m also glad it took me longer as hopefully the habits will last longer too.
I’ll also be honest here, I hated the whole thing. I mean don’t get me wrong, I loved the way I felt after I worked out with Rob (maybe 90% of the time as there were times I just didn’t want to be there, but still showed up). But constantly being hungry, tired and cranky meant that I wasn’t being the best dad, partner of friend I could be.
I kept seeing video testimonials of people saying “I feel the best I’ve ever felt in my life, I have more energy than ever before” etc but not me. I was like “FUCK THIS” pretty much the whole way. I thought my stomach would get used to the smaller amount of food I ate. It didn’t. I was always hungry.
And that’s the point. Because despite feeling that way I kept pushing.
And just like the process of writing my book sucked ass, I was so glad when I finally held my printed book in my hand. It’s the same with seeing the photos from my photoshoot.
I hated the process but I’m so glad I did it.
#19 Get the support you need
This is a tough one, but finding the right support for you may take some time and probably will mean you have to go through trial and error. Not all trainers are created equal and not all programmes will be a good fit for you, your goals and your lifestyle.
For example for me, I now know I need to be in person to train with someone. At least when I’m getting started (as I probably could get an online programme and just get on with it in the gym now that I have the discipline and commitment locked in).
But in general, online is really hard for me. For others though, they may love the idea of doing online programmes because it tends to be more affordable and tends to be more flexible.
#20 Let your trainer know what’s working and what isn’t working
I was lucky to have been matched up with my trainer Rob because he really was an incredible trainer. Not just because of his knowledge, and dedication to the industry, but because he was a true professional. He was always on time, knew exactly what we were going to do and when we trained together he was 100% there and present. He wasn’t on his phone checking his TikTok or Instagram feed, he wasn’t looking at himself in the mirror and he wasn’t telling me how much he can bench press or deadlift (all things that have actually happened to me with other random trainers in the past. True story.)
He always believed in me even when I didn’t and kept on saying to me not to worry and just focus on the basics and everything else will take care of itself. And he was right.
But what also made Rob special is that if I needed something to be addressed or changed then he would take it on board and thanked me for the feedback. You need to co-create the relationship with your trainer so you can get the most of out your work together. And if it’s not the right support for you, then look for someone else.
#21 Have a finish line
One of Nike’s famous maxims is “There is no finish line”. I get why they have it, and I agree. Health and fitness isn’t about a finish line, it’s about who you become in the process and should be a lifelong goal. That’s great, but if like me you need something to push and drive you to stay focused, then having a finish line really helps.
When I heard that you could book a photoshoot I immediately said yes. My partner didn’t understand why I needed that. I explained it was my finish line. It was the equilivant of my medal at the end of a marathon. It was a way to make something intangible, tangible. I could hold something that proved that I really did it. That it wasn’t just in my mind.
I could one day show my kids that they too could achieve anything if they were willing to put in the work.
It also really helped me stay focused and accountable as towards the end having the photoshoot locked in really helped me to push myself, meaning I managed to finish strong.
In fact, I got a mock up designed of a cover magazine to prove to myself that my limiting belief that I couldn’t get in phenomenal shape was over.
I know, shameless 🙈
#22 Trust the process
This one is also going to suck. But you have to trust the process. If you’re working with someone who has a plan and has a track record of getting results you’ve got to trust the process.
There’s a reason why you’re not getting the results you want so you have to be willing to try something different. And that starts with adopting a beginners mindset and just trusting the process.
For example I was getting bored of doing the same exercises week in and week out but Rob pushed back and said as long as I’m getting stronger and we’re making progress we keep going. But if we start to see me plateau then we’ll switch things up.
In the end he was right and I was wrong.
#23 Be flexible
Here is also another not-so-sexy-tip. The truth is, your ability to succeed on your journey will depend on your ability to make the most of what you have. Sometimes you’ll be in the perfect environment where you can control a lot of the process, from the food you eat, to the sleep you can get or the workout you can smash out. But more often than none, you won’t be in that ideal environment.
Your kids are going to wake you up at 2am because they’ve wet the bed, your train is going to be delayed, your hotel is not going to have a gym, your friends are not going to give a shit about your diet, so you have to adapt.
And I think that’s one thing Robbie Thompson taught me when I worked with him (see below) is that you can make optimal possible if you reframe your perspective on what optimal is.
What I’ve come to learn is that optimal is doing the best you can with what you have. Period.
For example I really wanted to drop down to 10% body fat for the photoshoot, but that didn’t happen. I came in at 11.5% body fat instead.
Does it mean I was disappointed? No. I celebrated the fact that I had dropped over 14% body fat!
Aim for the moon, if you fail you’ll land among the stars. Be willing to adapt and be flexible otherwise you’re going to really struggle along the way.
#24: How you do anything is how you do everything
A few years ago I remember seeing a video where Will Smith is asked by I think his wife’s nephew if he can come and work in the movie business with him. Before agreeing, Will Smith tells him he has to do two things.
#1 He has to read a ton of books on storytelling structure, writing scripts, etc. So Smith sends him off with a huge list of books he needs to get throguh.
his nephew comes back and says he’s read the books. Now Will Smith tells him the second thing he needs to do.
#2 He needs to get in movie star shape and sends him off to train with the same trainer that got Will Smith ready for his role for Ali, the biopic Muhammad Ali.
At first the nephew doesn’t understand how all of this has to do with succeeding in the movie business.
By the time his nephew is done training, he comes back looking shredded and in the best shape of his life.
That’s when Will Smith knew he had the determination, discipline and grit to succeed, because if you can push yourself physically, if you can sharpen your will and control your mind that’s shouting atyou to quit and if you can get results with your body, then you can succeed in business.
And it hit me when I finished my programme, there is nothing I can’t achieve as long as I have a plan, commit to the process and do the work.
It’s not rocket science, it’s just plain boring hard work.
My next challenge is to 10x my speaking business using the basic principles I’ve learned over the last six months. There is nothing sexy about success. It’s a hard grind behind closed doors that only pays off if I’m willing to put in the work.
I so am.
Bonus: You can look great and still feel like shit
It’s hard to describe how grateful I am to have gone through this intensive process to get in cover-model shape. Not just because I love the final result and that I was able to prove to myself that I can do it, but because it’s helped me understand that the physiques and bodies I once idealised of men bracing the covers of men’s health and fitness magazines or the fighters I saw compete in the UFC, are not actually superhuman.
As in, I used to make up that the reason they looked the way they did was because they were either just built different, or because they had just more will power, of course it’s partly true and is also actually rubbish.
The other misconception I had was that I believed they walked around looking jacked and ripped all the time. They don’t.
To be a cover model is a full time job, as is to be a competitive prize fighter.
And to get ready to be in peak physical shape for say a photoshoot or a fight night means that you work relentlessly towards that one goal but outside of it may look very differently.
Also, shaving your chest sucks. I hate the way it feels when it grows back and it feels all sorts of weird.
My point is, training for body composition is very different than training for optimal fitness. Over the past six months I did not train to feel better, I trained to look better. And those can be (but not always) two completely different things.
Restricting my calories, being so strict with my diet, working out five to six time a week, weighing myself every single day, measuring everything I eat, avoiding social events because I dreaded not being able to be in control of my macros, not looking forward to traveling or going on holidays because I couldn’t control my environment, taking pictures of everything I eat, and stressing out about the number of hours of sleep I had, non of it was sustainable or something I aspire to continue doing for the rest of my life.
But, and it’s a big but, had I not done all of the above I don’t think I ever would have gone into the shape I got.
Yes, I may have felt like shit 90% of the time but I did end up looking pretty amazing.
Optimal body composition comes at a cost, at least initially I’ve been told. Apparently the hardest part is to get lean, but once you’re lean it’s easier to maintain. Ask me again in six months from now if that’s the case for me.
Online health and performance coach and fitness influencer David Birtwistle talks about this quite a lot in his Instagram posts, that the cost of getting super lean, say 8% or 10% body fat, is just not worth it.
So does 3 x #1 Sunday Times best-selling author James Smith, often described as. the Gordon Ramsey of fitness, who uses humour as a way to teach his content. James Smith points out that what we should be aiming for is roughly 70% of being optimal and leave enough margin of error to enjoy life and a few beers with your mates.
In short, the sacrifices you need to make are too great to justify pursuing a goal that simply isn’t sustainable. Instead you’re better off finding a balance of focusing on your health and your social connections and interactions with the outside world.
What that taught me is that you can look amazing and still feel like shit.
It also helped me put an end to this idea I had in my head that “only when I will have a six pack and looked jacked AF will I be happy about my body and feel great.”
Yes, I love the way my body looked on the day of my photoshoot but I’m now very OK with letting go of that false illusion that happiness is only within reach of a six pack. It’s not.
My goal now is to train for how I feel, not for how I look. And have my aesthetics be a bi-product, not the main goal.
Which won’t be easy as I’ve been obsessing over every inch of my body over the last 24 weeks trying to mould and shape it into a cover-model worthy body.
But I’m actually excited about this next step. To try and find a sustainable way to stay relatively lean, active and figure out how I can feel my best and perform at my best without the cost of such a strict and restrictive diet.
I’ll keep you posted how I get along, but until then, I’m going to enjoy myself a little and forget about how many calories are in a spoon full of peanut butter.
A True Team Effort
One thing I want to mention before I go is that no impact is an island.
Although Rob was the best trainer I’ve ever worked with in terms of body composition, I’ve had the privilege to work with some elite trainers over the years that all helped shape me and educate me in some way shape or form that I know the seeds they planted helped make this moment a reality.
I’m grateful for all their wisdom, support and guidance. I’ve mentioned a few above but here are a short list of a few other coaches and trainers who I feel I need to express my gratitude:
Stretch Before Your Flex
In the summer of 2020 I got to work for a shortwhile with Artur Zolkiewicz, a physical phenom who is a BJJ beast and a brilliant coach often featured in Men’s Health magazine who is also the co-founder of The Zoop Scoop.
What I enjoyed about his coaching approach was that he was all about getting the fundamental movement patterns firing up and getting your foundation strong before trying anything crazy or fancy.
The King of BAMA
During lockdown, as I was walking around Clapham Common, I noticed a big banner that rocked “BAMA” across it. Next to it, was an energetic trainer pacing up and down dressed in a bold blue tracksuit and a bright red tank top pushing what seemed to be a few clients through a circuit workout.
He had a big smile, was pumping music and seemed like a fun coach.
We ended up talking after he finished his session as he was packing up his car parked nearby. His name is Chris Boado, he’s the founder and owner of BAMA Boado Academy of Martial Arts and we got chatting.
I ended up training with Chris on an off between 2020–2021 on Clapham Common, mixing up strength and conditioning workouts with Muay Thai training and occasionally a few BJJ drills.
I absolutely loved the intensity and the feeling I got after finishing a training session with Chris, but life got in the way, and I didn’t fully commit to the process. I hadn’t changed my nutrition and plus when it rained, which as you can imagine in the UK that happens quite a bit…I wasn’t highly motivated to make it happen.
Thankfully, as you saw in some of the pictures above, Chris now has his own martial arts gym BAMA near Clapham Common providing all sorts of training which you should definetely go and check out!
World-Class Boring Basics
As mentioned above, in the summer of 2021 I got to work with Robbie Thompson, a former client of mine turned friend who is a high performing coach helping CEOs and celebrities perform at their best. Robbie was great, passionate and helped me understand that the most important thing to do is to focus on the world-class but boring basics: hydration, daily steps, sleep and protein.
The other thing he taught me was to try and do the best with what you have. Of course as a high achiever A-type personality with entrepreneurial ADD, that was the biggest challenge for me. “What’s the point of just doing 10 pushups?”. Turns out, doing 10 push ups is better than not doing any pushups.
Life is always going to through stuff at you so trying to operate at an optimal level all the time is simply impossible. Instead, try and be more comfortable being out of your comfort zone and doing the best with what you have.
Dream Team
Last but not least, in no particular, Daniel Terry who taught our Muay Thai classes at GymBox and who was such an incredible coach with such positivity and warmth and made me fall in love with Muay Thai.
Annamaria Bodzas whose unconventional training style at The Armoury in North London pushed me out of my comfort zone.
My friend and brother from another mover Tony Riddle who coached me back when he used to do one-to-one training sessions in Camden in natural movement and who helped me fall in love with moving my body naturally and do all sorts of funky stuff.
My friend Tomas Olivier, founder and CEO of Omnos, for always replying to my WhatsApp voice notes and messages about health optimisation and training.
Finally, Artur Paulins, for reminding me to breathe, stretch and enjoy the process. And for making the time to teach me some basic BJJ skills.
A new beginning
I can honestly tell you that I’m in the best shape of my life.
My wish is that this rather lengthy article has helped you see that it can take a lifetime to achieve a life goal.
But in the end, it’s worth the effort.
I hope you’ll feel inspired to get #FitForPurpose and start your own journey to redefine what a modern dad bod is all about.
Let me know how you get on.
As I’ll be writing in my next book, I whole heartedly believe in the transformational power of fitness to help us succeed in business and life.
I’m rooting for you.
Mark x
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Mark Leruste @markleruste is an award-winning author, speaker, entrepreneur, father and podcaster on a mission to help one million entrepreneurs and business leaders unleash their purpose and impact the world with their story. To find out more visit MarkLeruste.com.
